Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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