I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
