I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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