I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize