you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
