Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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