Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
