He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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