OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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