please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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