Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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