i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
