Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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