she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
