And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
