she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
