So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Ladies don't puke and tell
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
