i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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