..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I need a beard to bite.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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