Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
