dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
