Are we in a gay sports bar?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
