you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
