i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
