If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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