She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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