is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
