So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
