this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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