Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
