When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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