why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
