i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
