just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
