Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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