I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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