I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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