He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
