I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
