I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
