Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
