This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
