wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
