So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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