Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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