just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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