dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
