My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
