eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
