Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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