WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
