Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
