i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
