I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
