The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
