her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
