I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
