He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
