You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
