Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
