never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
