after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
